8. Mar, 2020

Let us speak now, of Scammers

In the modern world, it does not pay to be trusting.  It probably never did.  How do we know that the coronavirus, for example, is not biological warfare running amok, sneakily introduced by the secret powers that be to stop China's growing global economic success in its tracks?  Well, because that would be paranoid, wouldn't it?  Still, to be on the safe side, a lot of cautious folk have stopped buying Corona beer (originally brewed in Mexico as it happens but you can't be too careful, can you)?

If you have a landline and are caught by cold callers at home, you can expect the following attempts to gain access to your bank account, as I have, and they will all on the face of it be calling from the valid customer service telephone number.

"This is BT with an urgent message about your internet, which has been compromised by hackers." (They go on to say they need to put software patches on to your bank account).

"This is Amazon Prime, you are about to be charged x amount for renewal, please call this number to check this is correct."

"This is the fraud section of your bank's customer services, a loan has been begun in your name, we need to take you through changing your security details if this was not you."

Most recently for me, a forceful young man called 'Lucas' claimed to be offering me a reduced offer for my 'drains cover' which I did not have.  He claimed I had signed up for three years and he had my contract in front of him.  He rang back with the same line two weeks later despite me telling him I didn't believe him. The company number and company he quoted were genuine but when I called them they had, as I knew, no record of me being covered with them, as I wasn't.  Lucas, though, knew an alarming amount of information and purported to have the first four digits of my bankcard, if only I would see sense and trust him with the rest of it.  I doubt I've heard the last of him.

I was quite pleased not to fall for the blandishments of two young chuggers who just knew that at the forefront of my concerns, was the lack of a stronger custodial sentence for animal cruelty.  Not that I don't think it's important but animal charities get quite enough funding as it is.  

Even if you haven't done anything except a year ago, have a bus in another town accidentally brush past your car wing mirror at a roundabout, no claim made by either party, expect, out of the blue, a call from your insurance company's fraud section (in this case they were my insurance company's fraud section) to notify you that some opportunistic character is trying to claim a vast amount for a serious whiplash and shoulder injury having been a passenger on said bus.  The latest on that was a national body contacting me to ask on the same subject if were the owner and insurer of this 'unknown driver' vehicle on behalf of their client.  I assumed they were bogus but when my insurance company checked it out, they weren't, only the claim itself was.

The world is full of it right now.  Still, I haven't escaped everything, as I have recently discovered.   I leave then, with a song, if not in my heart, as a cautionary note on the home maintenance front, having just got round to some post storm repairs on my own house roof. I wrote it to be sung to the tune of something only I can't recall what the tune is called but the rhythm goes :

Da dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee

Da dee, dee, dee, dee, dee.

Da dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, 

Da dee, dee, dee, dee, Dee!

                                   'The Cod Roofer's Song'

                          Oh, there's woodworm in your timbers

                          And rot all through your beams.

                          The roofing felt's all full of holes,

                          It's creaking at the seams!

                          Oh, gales have blown your ridge tiles loose

                          The rain it's coming through.

                          There's something wrong with all of it

                          And such a lot to do!

                          Oh, the estimate was unprepared

                          For all we found inside.

                          You'd better pray the final bill

                          The Lord himself provides!

                          You've swallowed all my story

                          So there's only you to blame.

                          And if what we've done is shoddy

                          Well that's just a crying shame!

                          Oh, a roofer's lot's a happy one

                          With customers like you.

                          And now I've had your money,

                          I'll just vanish with it too! 

                           (Repeat chorus)